I must admit that while I am writing this post I have just received news that one of the most fundamental teachers (Rav. Phillip Berg) to my spiritual beliefs has just passed to the other side. It is surreal and as I sit here and question things (his teachings taught me to question everything), I have noticed how much I have changed over the past few years.
For me, pain was something that was just expected. The easiest way to handle it, was to shut it off. Become numb. To not feel. To throw myself into something that would divert my mind from dealing with whatever issue (and sometimes multiple issues) I needed to deal with. If you avoided it well enough, it would eventually go away. The last thing I ever thought I would be able to do is be grateful for pain… until now.